My First Post Back in JA-KAR-TA

I remember every time I try to update my blog, the first thing that popped on my mind was about how I should consider writing more regularly, as I knew deep within that I’ll be updating my blog with longer and longer span between each post. I tried to promise myself but somehow updating a blog is as difficult as tidying up my life!

Such a long time since my last post on my blog. Reviewed it again and the last post that I uploaded was early of July last year! OMG. It has been 7 months ago and so much have been happening on the last 7 month, definitely. Several significant events happened on that period that I can share were:

1. Finally fully resign from my company in Japan and managed to pass all of those good-bye parties safe and sound (it was quite tiring for an introvert like me), while I
2. Manage to clear out my moving process from Japan to Indonesia too. It was such an exhausting process as so many steps have to be done such as selling stuffs, clearing my bank account, unregistering my utilities, packing and sending boxes, make reports on ward office, and everything else even I still couldn’t believe I passed all of those stuff alone.
3. While in the meantime before I went back Jakarta, I managed to travel to Seoul for around 10 days alone,
4. And checking my list for visiting Hokkaido too, alone!! And then I finally
5. Move back for good to Jakarta and adapt quite well; still hate the traffic jam though,
6. Manage to settle my tiny nail business, well, even though so far open for close families and friends,
7. Manage to get a job here in Jakarta; which I’m not sure yet whether it’s the one that I want to do for the rest of my career, but  it gave me a good chance to learn and grow,, and finally,
8. Passed 2016 safe and sound (since my hectic period on moving and resignation stuff, all I want to do at that time do is only get to pass 2016 peacefully in my apartment balcony back home in Jakarta, and it came true naturally. Hahaha.

I have to admit 2016 was not my best year and it was the most exhausting year of my life hands down, however I’m very grateful for it. It was exhausting, but it was fulfilling. I knew how far my limit is, and I learn to be grateful and feel content of what I already have.

However, adapting back to Jakarta’s lifestyle is no joke.

At first it was so nice, all of the friends and family, no more lonely times, everyone was there for you, and it’s like happily ever after. It’s like everything that I ever wanted when I’m in Japan came true in a flash.  However there will always be times when I’m missing what I had in Japan that I miss the most: the freedom of doing everything alone; the way I want, anytime.

I miss my freedom to do everything alone. I miss traveling alone. It was so easy to go just everywhere on my off day. I can go museums alone, go aquarium alone, exhibitions alone. I can go out of town alone, came back late alone, or maybe drink with one best friend until late, and it was safe for me to go back home very late. I miss all of that.

In Jakarta?? Nahhh. When I went out with my friends even just a little bit late, everyone as in my family will tell me to go home asap. I knew they are worried about my safety and I realize that too, since Jakarta’s safety is quite bad, but sometimes it provoke my annoyance, however on the other hand I can’t complain much about that. IT WAS SO HARD FOR ME TO HAVE MY OWN TIME HERE.

Actually the longing of freedom was so bad until at one point I realize that there will be no end to what I want unless I feel content about it. When you had freedom, you want a connection to people around you. When you got people protecting you, you miss your freedom. I went to Japan, but I wanted to go back to Jakarta, but when I’m in Jakarta, I really wanted to go back Japan. There will be no end of this unless I can sit down, try to pause a while and stop thinking about moving forward.

Sometimes I feel that that maaaybe what I really need was only a looong holiday for me from all of the accumulated stress in Japan? But I’m already here anyway. And I believe everything happen for a reason too.

What I can and have to do right now is just to live, enjoy the presence, and be content of what I have. I knew I’m still adapting, but I believe I can make it somehow, and everything will be better onward.

And I have to catch up with some friends that I haven’t met too for several years... (I’m running away from socializing too long already!)

To perk things up a little bit, maybe I will post about my trip to Korea and Hokkaido last time… For the sake of lighting up my travel spirit and routine blog post too!!

See you on my next post!!